It was been raining hard these past two days and last night was no different. In the middle of my sleep I was visited of the same dream again, the same, because the dream was familiar and I knew that it wasn’t the first time I have dreamed of it.

The dream was about me and my friends who are my coworker in this life, we sailed through a wooden boat and it was capsized and me doesn’t know how to swim drowned, but I was very peaceful when I drowned, I didn’t struggle to live nor to breath, I just accepted it was already my end.

[Photo courtesy of Engin Akyurt/pexels.com]

To dream of dying wasn’t new to me, I dreamed of it once and I thought I have wrote that dream, but perhaps I didn’t because I can’t find it.

On that dream, I am a man lying in the hospital bed surrounded by my wife and two children, I was dying and gasping for air, but everything was very peaceful, that dream was very realistic because I can feel it until I woke up from the dream.

The realization hits me that my dreams about me dying were my past life, I have been trying to do past life regressions these past few months, but I keep jumping back to the present, but there are two new things I saw when I did the regression.

First, it was very dark and all of a sudden a bomb exploded and the only thing I saw was a baby wrap in a pink blanket thrown into the air cause by the explosion, second was seeing a fire camp, it was dark ages, I am black knight I guess, now I understand why I am so interested with the dark ages when I am in secondary grade, I was too excited learning about that age or era.

Every night I always had a dream but most of the time I forgot what is it after going to the bathroom to pee.  I have been blogging my dreams but due to intermittent connection I didn’t bother documenting it again.

Anyway, since I was young I knew I was an old soul.  I knew I was born before but I just don’t know when and how I live my life and how many times I was born. When I met an accident when I was young, I was hit and run-over by motorcycle I have recollection on how I live my life as a kid, it was like they were flashback right on my eyes and then all I remember I was going down in a spiral and I woke up asking for a water.  I have never told anyone about it because I have thought it was normal.

Moreover, I always have recurring dream of being in a familiar place when in reality I have never been there and I can’t remember the place in my dream. I have dreamed often too being a child living in a different planet,  I see fires, burning city, flying metal objects just like how the city in Jean Claude Van Damme’s movie Universal Soldier I didn’t think about it that much maybe because it was just created by my brain when I was asleep.

Growing up, I enjoyed reading mystery, horror and metaphysical stories. I am fascinated with the theory of reincarnation, I can spend my whole day reading stories about it, lately I have been reading new stories again. It was been my long wish to do past life regression but I just don’t know how to find people that could help me with it.  I search about how to do it alone and last night before going to sleep when everything is silent I tried to do it, it was hard for me to concentrate because it is either my hand felt itchy or my foot does,  after trying so hard I saw a vision, I have seen a yellow flower in a vase in a door to the balcony (maybe that’s why I prefer yellow flower than the red ones), dark dirty water seeing it from below, a hospital bed then I felt anxious so I went out the imaginary door and rest  to an imaginary chair.  When I went in the door again,  I saw a train coming, I have heard its sound, I am in a station, it wasn’t the present era, it was in sepia, the train looks like running through a steam engine there was a lot of people rushing I was feeling frantic because I couldn’t see myself, I want to see myself on this period and then I saw a beautiful sophisticated woman wearing sophisticated black dress with a black hat just like how Audrey Hepburn was, she has pearl earrings and she was very beautiful white female like a celebrity, then my vision hop seeing an Asian small old man sitting at the corner of his hospital bed, he is wearing a hospital pajama and as if he is waiting for someone, a visit from family maybe but there was a thought that he is all alone then I came back feeling tired and empty, I fell asleep instantly.

[Photo courtesy of Hoang Le/pexels.com]

There are times there are familiar people in my dreams but in reality they are not existing in my present world and there are times there are people I know in my present life but they have different face in my dream.

Fear of Snake

I am very afraid of snake just imagining it getting near me I cringe. Not so long ago I dreamed of being a beautiful woman with a long black hair with an olive skin living in a tribe wearing a traditional tribal clothing adorned with stones or bones in my forehead, neck and clothing. It feels like I am about to marry a chieftain or son of a chieftain but I don’t know what happened, the woman in my tribe standing next to me is jealous of me, in present life she is an older cousin. On that dream I saw myself and her lying in a bed made of hay and a black snake was crawling underneath and black out, I woke up with a fear like there was a snake in my bed. It was like we are executed by a snake bite or we are chosen through a snake… ah dunno what is it!

Fascinated with the Sea

Since I was a child I am fascinated seeing the sea, I always wish that the jeep I rode every afternoon to home will traverse the road near the sea, I felt ecstatic and happy seeing the sea but the truth was I don’t know how to swim and I never learned how to do it no matter how I tried. I am also afraid going to the deep part of the sea I guess it has connection of me seeing a dark dirty water last night, maybe on my previous life I drowned at the sea or in a pond. What is interesting when I was sixteen years of age I almost drowned with my classmate in a river.

I have read from other story tellers that there are times things happened like they happened in the past, so I guess I died from drowning when I was sixteen years old on my past life. What do you think?

Familiarity with the Jantar Mantar

When J and I went to India, specifically  in Jaipur (Jantar Mantar) I frantically told him “I have been here, I saw this already!” when it was the first of me seeing it. I cannot recall seeing it in movies nor in photo, I have remember myself walking around the Sundials climbing with one of them to see the stars. When we are in India, I am always mistaken a local of the country.

Out of Tuned Music

Many people who knew me knows that I don’t know how to sing, I am out of tuned but there is part of me who believes that on my past life I was a good singer but I cursed it, I wonder if it has relation to the beautiful woman in the train station.

Hospital and Balcony

Growing up I am scared of going to a hospital, furthermore meeting a doctor alone.  I was also scared of heights and looking over a balcony, when I was in grade school I remember how I felt sick looking down from the third floor and I also remember how I felt cold feet every time I look down below the balcony of J’s apartment in Korea, I was scared of falling and I always felt like throwing up whenever I looked down I guess it has to do with the balcony and the old man I saw in his hospital pajama, did I committed suicide at a balcony on that life?

I have a lot of questions and I wonder how many lives did I live, which of my dreams are true and are all of my visions are real?  It was said your birthmarks was the cause of your death on your past life, I have one in my forehead and there is something at the back of my head and I have a birthmark in the right side of my body too… I sometimes wonder if these are bullet or arrows point of entry.

Whenever I dreamed during the night I tend to forget that dream in the morning, that’s why I seldom wrote and blog about dreams in this blog. My dream last night was so vivid that I am able to remember it,  I found myself in a distant neighbor’s house which is also a distant relative, it looks like it wasn’t only me who was there.  There are other women from the church in the house, but I have arrived late so I was left outside. Instead of following them through the wooden door, I was left outside wandering about the relative’s house, it looks so small but it is quite big with a lot of rooms made of glass, that no matter which side I go and look, all I can see were glass doors and rooms. Since the room is made of glass, I can literally see what is inside the room, but one room is very particular in my dream where I have seen what is inside, decors, bed and the bedding,  saw it twice while wondering how is it possible for a small house to have  a lot of room.

[Photo courtesy of Masson-Wintergarten/pixabay.com]

Then my dream hopped seeing myself cooking on a large wok in the fire wood stove, it looks like I am still in the relative’s yard, backyard, presumably and I am cooking for  the women inside the house, then suddenly a cousin wearing a sad face came and sat in the vacant chair, I have asked him something, like if the people inside the house were not finished yet.

[Photo courtesy of Trinck/pixabay.com]

My dream hopped again, seeing myself in the street just above a stone stairs (it looks like I am going to the house under the street/stairs), talking to an Uncle wearing a yellow shirt. In my dream I am telling myself that his wife, my aunt already passed away, as I look down the stairs I saw a yellow poop. I was told by my uncle that another uncle had collapsed and lost consciousness because of stroke and my dream ended as I woke up feeling so cold.