Just another weird wedding dream this time, and I wake up with a heavy heart. I don’t know how it started all I can recall I am planning my wedding and I am in contact with a gay classmate W1 which is a wedding planner in my dream and then another gay classmate W2 came in the picture which is also a wedding planner in my dream and on my dream I decided to take the service of the second wedding planner cancelling my previous business engagement on the first one. Little did I know, the two gay wedding planners are competing with each other so when I hired W2 dropping the service of W1, the latter wasn’t happy especially after receiving an conceited call from W2, and then I found myself talking over the phone with W1, apologizing for dropping his service and when the other line dropped the call after resenting me on how I ruined  their plans and business.  Then, I  found myself crying and whispering to myself that hiring a new wedding planner is just a charade because my groom which is J isn’t coming so there isn’t  a wedding to look for, I was so sad in my dream that’s why I woke up with a heavy heart like I just came from crying.

[Image source: theshopbug.files.wordpress.com]

Weird isn’t it? I looked online what’s my dream telling me and here’s what I have found but nobody knows what’s the real meaning of our dreams and nobody could really tell our future.

Planning and organizing matters or events in a dream means rising in status. Planning in a dream also means justification of one’s responsibilities or actions. –

• If you dream of remarrying your husband or wife symbolizes your strong love and faith to each other. Marriage has suited you well. Your marriage may be about to change as well. Are you considering starting a family? If you are dreaming of planning your wedding, but have never met your future spouse, it is an indication that you have found harmony and balance between your feminine and masculine sides.  Conversely, you may be struggling from a lack of balance between your more instinctive side and your softer emotional nature.
• To dream that you are getting married to your current spouse again represents your wedded bliss and happiness. It highlights your strong commitment to each other. It may also signify a new phase (such as parenthood, new home, etc) that you are entering in your life. – http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamthemes/wedding-dream-symbols.htm
• To dream of planning for a wedding represents preparations you are making for a permanent or serious change.To dream of problems or fighting at a wedding may reflect issues with commitment, confidence, or consistency. You may be having second thoughts about a change you were considering. Alternatively, it may reflect jealousy you or someone else has while watching others achieve something. Not liking seeing someone else permanently realize a goal. It may also point to feelings that seeing a permanent change occur is not a good idea. – http://www.dreambible.com/dreamdictionary/w.html
• May symbolize reviewing and questioning the status of your relationship. Consider how you feel – are you happy or unhappy about marrying your spouse in the dream? – https://www.dreamscloud.com/dream-dictionary/w/wedding

Just another weird dream last night, I have planned to blogged my dreams but there are times I forgot the details of them when I wake up. My dream started in a gathering which looks like a wedding; everyone is busy since it is going to start soon, people went out so the marching could start soon and then I saw an aunt in the flock of people marching out carrying her granddaughter, it was me who noticed that it seems baby K is peeing on her, so I called her attention and the toddler is really peeing which made us all laugh. Then while waiting for the wedding to start and for people to march in I heard drum beats and I found myself in the middle of the road carrying my DSLR and snapping pictures of the parade or festivities like the street dancing during town fiesta where dancers paint their selves and wore costumes, the wedding entourage and  dancers intertwined.  In my dream while I am taking photos I have noticed there is a second DSLR hanged in my body, it has bigger lenses, and it was J’s DSLR camera.

At first I was hesitant to use it because I know that when I touched it, I am going to be scolded. He doesn’t want his things to be touch without permission, but I have used anyway because he isn’t around and it feels like we are not together in my dream, there is a bitter feeling. I have enjoyed snapping pictures using his camera because I can use the view finder unlike mine that I can’t because it is broken; the snapping sound every time I clicked the shutter is music into my ears. Then it feels like the street was cleaned with people and I found the large group of different dancers, dancing and lifting their feet in joy and suddenly I woke up, hearing a distant sound of drums from the nearby church.

Such a weird dream, but with the recollection of things I have heard and read from before it looks like my dream means a bad omen, hopefully not, so I am praying nothing serious is going to happen to anyone I love, the people around me and people I know.

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Dreaming is part of our good night sleep; we sometimes dream a good dream, sometimes scary and sometimes a bad dream.  Sometimes dreams serve as a warning and sometimes an inspiration, I have dream some things but sometimes it ends up with a contrasting result, it was maybe brought by depression. I have been dreaming every thing will be alright but in reality they were not because I think someone’s heart was already covered in ice.

Well, I have been planning to create a separate blog to journal my dreams but I always end up not doing it. I have thought of creating one when I always experience sleep paralysis, it was really hard for me to wake up and I felt really exhausted upon waking up. My sleep paralysis ended when one night and I went to the kitchen to drink water without turning on the light, I saw a black shadow in front me, I was froze in one moment and when I blink he was gone in front of me and I sense another unseen beings giggling at my back. It was not that scary experience, it was more of a friendly gesture but I still end up sleeping inside the blanket uttering prayer for the being to see the light and find peace.

Since then, I never felt disturbing presence around me. The feeling of someone looking over your shoulders when cooking or washing dishes were gone, the being maybe already left or already went with the light. The last time I had a sleep paralysis was just this year, after my world turn upside down, I was so depressed honestly I don’t want to wake up that time and just let myself die but I have thought I am not ready yet, I still left some works to do.  So I tried to wake up and gladly I did.

Aside from seeing and feeling another being around, there are times I can see things when I closed my eyes, the unforgettable one was when one night when we are preparing to sleep, when I closed my eyes I saw a long haired guy, I tried to open my eyes but every time I closed it I am seeing the guy again, so I went beyond and wander, the guy looks like an aboriginal people in the West (Indian). His nose is bleeding, literally blood is running down coming from his nose and he isn’t smiling nor frowning, was it just like I am seeing a head turning around, like a prototype.  Then afterwards I’ve seen like a wall of large pot made of clay, it was brown and the design was very distinctive.

It was unforgettable because after few days, we received a news that J’s nephew died in an accident but before we are informed of it I’ve seen someone went to the kitchen from the bed when I went out the bathroom, I was honestly surprised when I saw J in bed and even told him that I though he went to the kitchen.  I didn’t connect the long haired guy to J’s nephew’s accident but when I accompanied him to the airport, I was lost going home and went to a wrong station. Going out the station finding my way out, I have seen the brown wall that is made of clay and that’s the time the connection sink to me.

I always felt like I am clairvoyant maybe I have third eye but it wasn’t opened, not fully opened. There are times I want it opened but then I am scared of consequences seeing things I shouldn’t see and knowing things I shouldn’t know.

Well, it was been a long time since I see nor feel strange things around me but with my current state I am embracing the gift again. Last night, I’ve dream something weird. The year doesn’t seem the present it was like it happened a few years back, houses were straw huts.  On my dream, a distant relative died, an uncle presumably.  There is a lot of people, the wife is crying the body is laying in the wooden bench, and when the body is trying to be covered by a wooden thing, maybe it is a coffin, at first try it doesn’t fit then in my naked eye it feels like the body was breathing, on the second try while trying to fit and cover him with the wooden coffin the body moves,  pushing away the arms and the wooden thing out his face and then he started coughing and choking, then I woke up.  It is weird isn’t it?

I have searched the meaning of it and what I found in one blog (see here) – The classical Chinese dream interpretation says that seeing a coffin or seeing the dead rise up from the coffin indicates the coming of wealth. Does it mean I am going to win a lottery or maybe I will dug out golds and jewelries?

[ Tagged In ] Black Shadow, Clairvoyance, Clairvoyant Abilities, Clairvoyant Dreams, Closed-eye Hallucinations, Psyhic Dream, Seeing Another Being, Seeing Something When Eyes are Closed, Sleep Paralysis, Waking up Tired After Dreaming

There’s an old belief that if you dream a poop it means MONEY, and it happened to me.  Last night or let me say this early morning while I am sleeping I have dreamed of poop, I just tell a brief story of it.  I dreamed of two young pipz, they look like my cousins in Germany but I am not too sure though because in my dream they are not my cousins but kids I need to take care,…the older one wants to use the toilet so I went out the building to give her privacy then after a while I saw her behind the glass looking sad and when I went in, all of her poop is scattered in the floor and in different trashcans in the corner, in my dreams she don’t know how to use the toilet so she throw her poop in trashcans, and it leave marks in the shiny floor (like a foot prints), a lot of it.  So I told her we need to clean it before people came for a meeting, so I  mop it and some people rush in, I am not yet finished though I just finished the first room and a realization came the trashcan has a poop still then I wake up.

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When I wake up I lay down for a minute as I feel very tired which usually happened every time I had a dream, then I opened my email add which is I seldom do first because mostly I opened my click ads before looking at my inbox. What catch my attention is the mail from PostnJoy with subject [PostNjoy] Announcing 7th Opp. Winners~! so I immediately opened it first and guess what? I am so surprised and happy I won the 1st place and I can’t believed it,  I won $100 just writing about Magic Science BBcream and my dream is indeed means money.  Thank you Lord for the blessings!

A loud thunder storm wake me up this morning then I went back to sleep with dream about UFO’s, where I saw a UFO in the sky (looks like a flying saucer)  and I am trying to take photo of it but it keeps moving right and left so I was not able to get a good shot then when the UFO moved away I followed it and I have seen it carrying a carabao then a realization came to me why I didn’t take a video of it instead, when I check my camera all I found is a one blurred shot. After it I’ve seen a lot of soldiers in my dream in alert together with their trucks, helicopters and other military vehicles. It’s dark too,  it feels like there’s no electricity and with my two eyes I’ve seen one helicopter crashed with a burning tail. I don’t know what is my dream all about but it is weird and the sound of thunderstorm this morning is also weird and so loud.

BTW, we received a mail yesterday about the changes of address here in Korea, the government will implement it on July but we can still used our old address until December, then next year we have to use our new address.  The Korean government change their address system, actually I didn’t understand the mail but that’s what Pookie bear’s co teacher had told him.  Anyway you can check their website about the address change and the timeline

There is no particular photo that reminds me, seeing this photo I remind my childhood dream to be a ramp model and somehow beauty queen.  God gave me long legs but not a very good height, well yeah I am taller to my cousins but it is not a ramp model height. What I wish is to inherit my Aunt’s height (mother side) because they are so tall at 5’7. Sometimes I wonder  if my childhood accident prevent me from being taller or makes me being tall at this height, lol.

 On my 4th year college I am in the top of being me, I am very confident. One day our institute/department is looking for a student to compete in the upcoming pageant in our school. Well yeah few of my schoolmates/classmates encouraged/asked me to join or if I want to join and then I told  our director I am going to join he didn’t believe me because he knew I am joker.

[Photo courtesy of cdd20/pixabay.com]

Well maybe he believes me but seeing my face, my thin posture and knowing my ability he know I am going to put myself in shame. Hahaha! Well I don’t think even our director allowed me to join, I am going to join. I am not that confident with my assets (as if I have), I have no talent in singing or in dancing so thinking myself dancing for the opening number makes me to be embarrassed because the whole school will be watching me. So merely it is just a good time and my wishful thinking. I also did not join pageants in our Barangay because mostly it is money contest,  just this past few years that they hosted beauty pageant which is I am already old and some of the contestants are teens. Anyway if ever I will tell someone what is my dream and what do I like, probably they will just laugh on me. So my dream will will remain a wild dream.

When I told Pookie bear that if we got a daughter in the future I am going to join her to beauty pageants, you know maybe I am going to make my dream materialized to her, he disagree a lot. He said he had watched a lot of documentaries how beauty queen’s are forced by parents to join a prestigious pageant and how their life ruined by pageants.  So it is a BIG NO to pageants!

Last night I have dreamed of two guys are chasing me in the forest then I found a house in the wilderness, I knocked and someone opened the door, I saw three  or  four young kids and a young girl whom I think pregnant. She is not the mother of the kids it feels like she’s a nanny, she is busy cleaning and cooking. When I enter their humble abode, everything is a mess. Kids are playing around, cat poop’s are everywhere together with sand and dirt. I have no choice but to smell all of it because it is a matter of life and death. The two guys finally reached the house where am I, I immediately run to a room or in a closet and all I know they took all of the kids and the pregnant woman. Then while I am hiding, there’s a sophisticated woman with me, she is sexy and fabulous looking, it sounds like she knows the guy chasing me and she is also hiding from them. Then I don’t know what happened next, everything became unclear all I know the kids and the girl was able to returned home but she was raped I guess, and I think I wake up already by movements, Pookie bear is busy preparing his meal.

[Photo courtesy of Foundry/pixabay.com]

I thought if you dream a poop its money, like when I dreamed of tiny little poops of chicken, I got surprised when I received payment that day in ask2link but is quite different today.Just this evening Pookie bear and I are scheduled to go to the gym so as usual I need to brush my teeth before going out. So I pee first and flush the toilet when I opened the medicine cabinet or simply cabinet just in top of it, splasssh! My toothbrush dance with the water and gone, its a new one just opened it yesterday. So I opened another tooth brush then a realization came, what if the tooth brush plugged the toilet? Still we went to the gym and I am not on the mood to squats and leg extension anymore, I just did leg press and I keep asking Pookie bear if I can go home right at that moment, but he wont allow me so I need to wait until its done. What disturbs me is he keep teasing me, and laughing while  I am down, as in very down. Telling me that I need to talk to the land lord because he is not going to help me and etc., I became dramatic and says I will choose to go home and I am in suicidal mode right now.

At home before I took a shower he asked me if I can search online about the case, then I have read online we need a toilet auger or metal craw hanger to get the toothbrush. So to make sure that the toilet is plugged  I throw a lot of tissue paper and flushed it, the result it is indeed plugged because of the toothbrush. So I went out to buy claw hanger or toilet auger if I can’t find the first one. I ended buying a claw hanger and we try to find the tooth brush using it but we can’t. I have try to asked one of the sales lady if she know where to get toilet auger and she is very helpful to show me the way but the fact that I cannot understand their language it is useless, I just laughed and say okay or I don’t remember if what else I have said on my gibberish  way, so I just went to the counter to pay my hangers, guess what I just went it there without looking if there’s a line, so the cashier told me something, maybe “Please fall inline” or I don’t know maybe no please, so shameful to be absent minded. Haist., He emailed his co-teacher to tell her what happened and the she will be the one to talk with the landlord or translate it for us. Well the result will be until tomorrow when Pookie bear went to school,we are going to know if  the plumber will come.

[Photo courtesy of ClkerFreeVectorImages/pixabay.com]

So I think that’s what my dream last night means I have to keep away from the toilet because I am going to be in shit with it., if you are going to ask who’s the two guy chasing me… Pookie bear’s answer..the landlord and the plumber. Lol! Well maybe the sophisticated lady who talk to me help me hide is the sales lady, the kids are the young guys and girl paying their stuff  in the counter, and don’t tell me the pregnant woman is the chubby cashier? Well it could be because in my dream I hide on their house and I found the claw hanger in their store.Like my dream it is unclear or the case was not resolved, the toilet too is waiting to be fixed. Hopefully I am not going to use it tonight or tomorrow morning or else the garbage collector will be surprised to see something nice in the garbage bags. Lol!

Right now, I am not in the mood to do anything. I am totally disturb especially if someone keep telling my fault and not learning my lesson to close the lid before opening the cabinet and etc., I told Pookie bear I am so sad and I cannot blog hop tonight or do my online task, he is like little tiny cat who rubs his head on my shoulder and give me a hug of consolation while telling tomorrow it will be fine, hmmppp, too late I am already hurt.

Yeah I keep banging things a while ago when I am going to the shop and even tell him that I can a kill a cow right now, his replied  sounds like this”Okay sweetie, kill a cow outside so we are going to have a lot of cow meat, more food“

So weird. That’s how I called my dreams/nightmare yesterday morning, I woke up around nine o’clock in the morning when the alarm clock rang. It was breakfast time for Pookie bear I just opened my eyes and went back to sleep because he prepare his meal alone.  He doesn’t eat heavy breakfast, a glass of whey protein and few grams of sliced apples was enough to start his day.  I woke up again at ten o’clock when Pookie bear get ready for school and went back to sleep when he left,  we sleep at 2 AM every night, we are nocturnal. Anyway, I turned my laptop first so there’s something to disturb me or wake me up in case I had a bad dreams again and sleep paralysis strikes again.

[Photo courtesy of pixabay/pexels.com]

As I am sleeping I had this dream that we are traveling and we are in a very familiar place, it wasn’t my first time to be there because everything was very familiar then I don’t know how my dream changed on seeing me sleeping. On my dream I was sleeping backwards, my feet where facing in the headboard when Pookie bear arrives from school and I can hear his movements while his changing to home clothes and getting something in the fridge for his meal, I tried to wake up but I can’t open my eyes (you know I was worried on my dreams to being scolded by my husband for sleeping too much and not even preparing his meal after work) and it was getting hard for me to breath. As I am struggling to wake up in my dreams Pookie bear peek inside my blanket to wake me up and I constantly heard some movements.  I struggle to wake up again,  I opened my eyes but they will closed again and I am already losing air. Then suddenly after struggling so hard I finally woke up and found out I was holding my nose preventing me to breath (imagine when you are preparing to dive in the water), as I tried to move out from the bead, I realized my body was paralyzed up to my head.  It was weird but my head feels like a balloon that is full of air and can explode anytime. With this,  I rest for a little bit and move out of our bed to make a coffee so I can’t sleep anymore. Well, I found out the movement I’ve heard in my dream was not from Pookie bear but to our neighbors in the second floor it sounds like they are moving/arranging their cabinets and tables. I was so lucky and thankful on their noises, lucky they did it while I am fighting to live and wake up again.  As usual the consequences when I have this kind of dreams was my body is dead tired, I feel so tired as if I work-out so much.

So today, I didn’t sleep during the day.  I was really scared because this wasn’t the first time it happens, it always happen whenever I am sleep. I don’t know how it started but it isn’t healthy already. I have research many methods how to prevent this or how to wake up during struggle, it helps but there are times when I panicked I can’t even wake up myself unless I started to pray.

Well, Pookie bear wake up very early and went to Postal office and mailed his present to his friend (C) he didn’t bother to wake me up because I think he is a little angry with me for bothering him last night. He wants to sleep but I don’t like to sleep because I was still scared, all I want is to use my laptop, he won anyway.

Just wake up two hours ago I am feeling sleepy this two successive days, Pookie Bear scheduled has changed because of the winter season so he wakes up early to go to school for an early class which I am not used too. So when he go to school, I went back to bed and sleep. And I am thankful I can sleep, if you doesn’t know I have a little phobia sleeping alone in our apartment during noon time because I always had a nightmare. So since then I don’t sleep alone when Pookie bear is at school but today I can sleep even though I am still dreaming but not that bad anymore that I can’t breath. The other day I was wake up by neighbors coming downstairs, today I was wake up by the water coming down the apartment maybe the other occupants in the second or third floor is washing their clothes anyway when I wake up my body is sore as well as my eyes.

[Photo courtesy of pixabay/pexels.com]

I think it depends on the position of our bed, because it also happened before in Seoul but when we changed the bed position I seldom had a nightmare anymore and same here too since we transfer the bed. (Typing this I heard knocks on our door, every time I head knocks I feel afraid and nervous). I think I am being pathetic.

Anyway back to dreaming, there are times I am dreaming and maybe I am already having a nightmare where I am speaking in the middle of the night or grasping for my breath and crying, my room mate I mean Pookie won’t bother waking me up. He would just ask me in the morning if I am dreaming because I sounds weird. Lol! The other morning was the funny thing, I think I am dreaming and in my dream I am raising my hand to hit someone or something (I can’t remember it fully) but I was get awaken when I finally hit that someone which is no other than Pookie bear I hit him in the head into his surprised. He both get awaken dunno why I am raising my hand…hahaha