Just like the previous Sunday I have to go to church with band aid in my face; I am very enthusiastic going to church no matter what because if I don’t go the church I’ll be crazy the whole week and I believe I am being tested since there are a lot of places for the skin irritation to grow but it chooses my face, weird isn’t it?

Anyway, the scriptural topic this Sunday is Establishing Right Priorities, what are your priorities in life? Pastor E says the first priority should be priority to fear God because the fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom (Proverbs1:7). He also added when we fear the Lord and appreciate His rules and guidelines it put us in the road of happiness. He also gave more scriptural verses to read such as Exodus 20: 20, Psalms 25:12, Matthew 3: 5-11, Romans 1: 22

Second priority is Obedience to God, we should obey God as what is mentioned in Psalms 37: 4 – Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. It is priority to achieve happiness. Other verses to read are Psalms 112: 1, Psalms 37: 4, Joshua 5:9 and Psalms 112: 8. Pastor E says to everyone not to fear and have assurance that God will provide.

Thirdly, is Relationship to God when our relationship to God is good our family life is good as well, this is mentioned on Psalms 112:2, Psalms 25:13, Psalms 37: 25-26, Psalms 112:5, Deuteronomy 8: 18, Luke 6: 35-38 and Psalms 112: 7.

The preaching this Sunday is God’s way to tell me to fear Him, be obedient and establish a good relationship to Him so I can achieve happiness and overcome the troubles that came and coming to my life. I should not worry too because He will provide my needs when I am broke and in times of drought.

It is Sunday today and it is the day that the Lord has made, I went to church with my hair untie which is unusual. I have to lose my hair to hide something in the side of my face, in my jaw particularly. It started as a pimple then it feels very itchy that I scratched it without thinking until it grows bigger like the size of a small coin. 🙁

Anyway, before the service proper started Pastor E announces some church concerns like who would like to lead during Sunday service and etc. One of the older member in the church whispered to me that it will look good if I lead, I just smiled while saying I can’t do it. Honestly, what I would like to do is to teach Sunday school among children.

The scriptural reading can be found Joshua 1: 1-9 with a scriptural topic of Facing Challenges This Year without Fear. Pastor E says that New Year brings new opportunities, possibilities as well as new challenges but with God’s provisions we are able to overcome these challenges because God give us power to persevere, a promise of His Presence and provisions for prosperity.

Pastor E shared a passage from the book of Romans 5: 3-4 which says “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” If we persevere we will overcome new challenges because facing our problems and trials will helps us to develop endurance and endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident of hope and with God’s presence we can face these challenges without fear.

When we overcome all these challenges God’s promise that we will be successful and prosperous so we shouldn’t be discouraged so let’s be strong and courageous. These were just parts of preaching that Pastor E delivered today, he challenges everyone to be as one church when facing challenges and overcoming them and encourage everyone to believe and have faith.

It was indeed true that problems made us strong and they help us grow as a person, with them too we are able to change for the better. Honestly, These past few Sundays I can relate on the scriptural topics it was like they were meant for me as if God is talking to me and telling me that I should persevere, be courageous and have faith in Him and everything will be alright in His presence.

It has been said that New Year is a chance to start anew, it was a time to create new principles that will become the energies and attitudes of mind that will help us succeed regardless of the difficulties and challenges that we face along the way.

Yesterday is the second Sunday of the month and the scriptural topic is about creating principles for the new year, the scripture reading can be found in Genesis 22: 1-10, if I was not mistaken it was also the basis of the previous preaching of Pastor R during an exchange pulpit Sunday. Our pastor (E) says our decision making on important choices was always based on our emotions and feelings, we satisfy our emotions, we don’t choose thing that will make us unhappy.

[Image source: 2live4himdotcom.files.wordpress.com]

These past few days discouragement controlled me, it was those time I felt it is already the end and there isn’t anymore life waiting for me, to have peace and to overcome this unwanted feeling even for a moment  I uttered silent prayer and when our Pastor started preaching I felt like God comforted me and He send the answers right away, He told me to trust, be obedient and have faith in Him that someday things will fall into their right places.

What if God asks for something very important to you?

There are three principles for the new year, the first one is the principle of trust which can be found in verse 1-2 of Genesis chapter 22 when God asked Abraham to sacrifice his only son Isaac on a mountain in the region of Moriah and without hesitation Abraham comply.

Pastor E then asked several questions to everyone like if we do believed that God can control our life for a better future, then he encourage everyone to raised the level of trust to God this New Year and see how good the Lord when we trust Him and let Him hold our life.

[Image source: wordstolivebybackgrounds.blogspot.com]

The second principle for a better new year is the principle of obedience which can be found in verse 3-6 of Genesis 22 when Abraham obeyed God and set for a journey with Isaac to the region of Moriah.  It has been said that trusting God is only part of the equation, we should obey Him as well.  We should take note too that delayed obedience is consider disobedience, without action our word will mean very little and faith without work is dead. Pastor E then encourage everyone to follow what God ask us to do, to set aside our emotions and selfishness so we can see how God moves in our lives.

[Image source: truth4freedom.wordpress.com]

The third and last principle is the principle of faith which is in Genesis 22: 7-10 when Isaac asked his father Abraham where is the lamb for the burnt offering, Abraham replies that God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering.  Pastor E told everyone that God is good in keeping promises, He will provide and showered His greatest blessings to you just have faith in Him.

Pastor E ended his preaching by challenging everyone to trust on God’s wisdom, follow His direction, have faith to believe and things will find their right place in our lives.

In a world of turmoil and uncertainty, there is only one place to go home that is family. There are no perfect family, there comes a time problems and misunderstanding occurs. My family isn’t perfect like everyone else, we grow in different directions yet our roots remain as one.

Well, since we don’t often go outside our house we don’t really know what is happening around, it was only from a relative that we’ve heard that there is a chaos around the neighborhood a few nights ago. It turns out my older cousin and her husband had a misunderstanding with her parents after her husband advice’s their younger brother in-law not to always play basketball and not to go home late at night when his kids are sick and waiting for him at home and then the drama occurs.

My older cousin and her husband who’s only helping and caring were tagged being envious of the younger family and by the parents too. They were told to move away from their house since their house was built in family land, were told that my older cousin almost lost consciousness when the chaos started, what is admirable her husband didn’t left her side, he stayed until the end and he even questioned her parents in-law why my older cousin was treated unjustly, he remind them that my older cousin is their child too just like their favor child and not a stranger.

Until now, their family wasn’t in good terms. They stopped talking to each other, my older cousin came to our home the other night, she almost cried while story telling how it happened and how her husband cry when her body started to harden since she didn’t let her emotions out. My mother then told her that my older cousin’s mother should not favor any of them because they were both their child, I interrupted them and butt out telling my mother that it was just like her she also favored my younger sister than me, leaving her tongue tied. Although, I have noticed since our huge fight and after telling her how favoritism is ruled inside our house she already stop favoring my younger sister when we quarreled she just tell us to stop because we are both old but my younger sister the tigress and the ungrateful she was won’t stop attacking me until I cried out of frustration, I was very hurt because after all the things I gave to her she doesn’t even know how to appreciate any single of it and have the courage to treat me unjustly.

What is saddening my mother told me to treat her nicely since she is the only one I will be having in the future but seeing how I am treated today, being kick without even a chance to defend myself I have realized I have no one to rely on when I grow old, I will be alone by myself. Such a pity, isn’t it?

Anyway, I told my older cousin that in a few weeks they will start talking again since they are family but she doubts it since her younger sister is planning to sue them for unknown reason, well that’s the problem when pride is higher than the person.

I have read online that family favoritism can create long-term emotional problems and can devastate family relationships and the consequences of parental favoritism are mostly bad. Disfavored children experience worse outcomes across the board: more depression, greater aggressiveness, lower self-esteem, and poorer academic performance.  Many of these consequences persist long after children have grown up and moved out of the house. People don’t soon forget that they were disfavored by their parents, and many people report that being disfavored as a child continues to affect their self-esteem and their relationships in adulthood.

New Year, New Hope that’s what I always heard and read but is it really true or just a false belief invented for people on their wit ends?

Nothing much happening around, I am just staying home watching movies and sleeping without even finishing them and doing some small chores at home. I can’t do heavy work since my chest became so painful when I carry heavy loads; I’ve work hard a few weeks ago and I almost end up being bed ridden. It hurt so much; it feels like some concrete blocks were put in top of my chest, I think I need to see a doctor soon since my back is bothering me too; maybe I already have scoliosis from carrying heavy bags in my back, but my worst thought the lump is getting bigger and affecting some of my nerves already. I was initially planning of saving money little by little so I can see a doctor and have an operation since my parents can’t afford it but blogging isn’t getting any better so I guess I will endure the pain during my entire lifetime.

[Image source: cheneselewis.com]

More bloggers already stopped blogging because there aren’t more opportunities online and maintaining domains is becoming costly since Goddady removes the discount codes on domain renewals, then bloggers have to pay hosting fee which is also expensive since it cost a few hundred dollars per year or depending on the type of hosting account. Well, like some of the bloggers I know most of my blogs too were prone to deletion this year because I can’t continue my domain and hosting subscription anymore. I was thinking if I should continue maintaining this blog because I will not always be online anymore too since internet load is getting expensive without stable earning online.

Well, I just heard from the neighborhood that the water station is selling their water almost half the price than the re-sellers are selling them, no wonder why a lot of re-sellers like us already stop reselling. I can’t understand how these people are thinking, I have heard from a grapevine before the year ends that someone will also resell beauty products and what is worst they will display them where people in the street can see them (maybe they will built a shop) and if it happens were dead, another source of income will be gone. Yes, it isn’t that strong but it helps a little especially my father has no job; honestly I don’t know what these people feeling towards us because they seems to copy what we started.

In short, 2015 wasn’t a good a year for me, it was the year my light dies and then more unfortunate lucks came, less opportunities online, copycats and my father having no job. Sometimes I am coming to the point of giving up and just sleep forever. So 2016 be kind to me please, don’t give me reason to cry this year I am tired of already that I may not be able to reach 2017 anymore if you will also be bad to me.

It was been my habit to say “always look at the bright side” but when I passed through the dark tunnel of life I have closed my eyes and I can’t see any light like I am blind; there is no bright side it is pitched black.

Today is the first Sunday of the month and as usual the church service started at 7 o’clock in the morning the spiritual topic is Fulfilling Life Purposes from the book of Psalms 90: 12.

[Image source: d.gr-assets.com]

All of us have different purpose and mission in life, have you found yours? What is God’s purpose in your life? Are you fulfilling that purpose? These were the question raised to us by our pastor and after which he informed everyone that we could find our life purpose if we remain teachable throughout our brief life span, by learning to manage our given time well and allow ourselves to be transformed as God intends.

We went to neighboring town today, my friend just loss her husband from sudden death. The funeral was held in her husband’s hometown, I have heard her husband just complaint for a headache and started vomiting and the rest is history. It was shocking and very painful for her because she isn’t prepared or expecting for it nor their children. It was sudden, it was like a thief that comes through the night and left without a trace. I cannot fathom the pain she felt it was maybe worse than the pain I am carrying within me.

But, thanks to an old school friend because the supposed to be sad and painful meeting became light and full of laughter even for a short while, she surely brought happiness to her, to us, because if it was just me alone it would be hard for me to console her.

There is New Year’s Eve service last night so I went to the church to attend it, getting inside the church there are some young people giving white candles and a small piece of white paper to people coming in.

The service consists of three different reflection and meditation for the past year, it started by turning out all the lights inside the church and lighting up a large candle and then passing the light and lighting up the candles that were given to everyone.  Our Pastor’s wife then read a passage from the bible from the book of Matthew 5: 14 and then everyone was asked how are light shone the past year, when does our light dies and when does it shine. Everyone was encourage to shine and continue passing the light to others.

The next reflection and meditation was all about forgiveness, it was leaded my Ms. E she was the preacher the previous Sunday. The reflection was from the book of Jeremiah 9: 26-28 which tells the story about how the Isralites meet in the temple to confess, it was told that when the status of their living is good they tend to forgot God so God punishes them by giving them trials and problems and that’s where they cry out to God and God put them in a right direction. I was just like the Isralites I have forgot God when my life is good, when everything was fine and I only remember Him when my life crumbles, when I became hopeless so I guess the hurt, the pain was my punishment from God for being forgetful, He simply reminds me that I am going in a wrong direction.

[Image source: christiancarguy.com]

God forgives and forgiveness comes when we confess, forgiveness is out of compassion. Ms. E says we cannot forgive when we don’t have compassion; forgiveness is a mission so she told everyone to forgive as the Lord forgives because we are not perfect and we all commit mistakes.

Then our pastor asked everyone to take-out the piece of small paper that were given to us and then everyone was asked to imagine writing all the things we want to ask for forgiveness in one side and on the other side the people we want to forgive, and then we are asked to go to the altar to bury the white paper in the sand and then we are told not to dig them anymore, to forget the past and not bring them in the present.

[Image source: kikiramsey.com]

The last reflection and meditation was about the solid rock in Joshua 4:1-9, God is the solid rock; He is the strong foundation, our hiding place and home.  Our pastor told everyone that in every task that the Isralites completed they built memorial to serve as reminder of God’s faithfulness, and for the knowledge of the new generation then everyone was asked to picked a stone in the altar, and utter a prayer and wish to God what do we want this coming year and the stone we choose will serve as a memoir.

A year has ended and a new year came, some people are celebrating today and some are grieving. I was cleaning my toe nails at home when someone call my name from the outside, I don’t need to stand to see who it was because the visitor was already right in our door, it was my college friend and classmate who went home in our town to celebrate the holidays, we lived in one barangay.

Apparently, they’re looking for ice packs but unfortunately our ice packs are all sold out, she stayed a bit and from her I have heard the bad news about what happened to a friend’s husband (E) one day after Christmas.  I was really shocked because it was my first time hearing about it that made her wonder on why I didn’t see it on Facebook, unknown to everybody I have deactivated my account on the said social network since I can’t stand happy updates from online friends.  I forgot my manners to offer her a chair because my mind was preoccupied on what had happened to my friend’s husband, it was only almost a week ago when a schoolmate asked for my number because this friend  (E) is asking for it but since I have no mobile phone I wasn’t able to hand over my number.

E is my classmate and friend since grade school until college, we are not too close but we are not too distant since she has other group of friends in the classroom and I have mine too, she treated me snacks when I am empty handed, I’ve been to their home many times, I ate lunch on their home a few times, our parents know each other so I guess we might not be the best of friends but we are friends beyond definition.

The news is depressing but like what I have learned through my journey there is no permanent thing in this world.  We are all by passers and someday our time to go will come… stay strong E… [insert personal message].