It is second Sunday of October, it was the second day I went to church to attend a service. The service didn’t start early today, I went to the store to buy some bubble gum when a cousin passing by saw me and invited me to go church with her, I was hesitated at first because it still early and the service proper is not starting yet but then I thought walking with her inside won’t not feel awkward than walking alone.

Anyway before the service proper there is announcement of church concerns, greetings to birthday celebrants that will celebrate their birthdays within a week and married couples that will be celebrating their anniversaries. When our Pastor asked if there is still someone who is celebrating  a birthday that he forgot to mention, my cousin pointed me and so I was greeted and our Pastor jokingly informed the congregation that I am mastering in veterinary majoring in cats hence my new family name is Catwill. The joke started when we arrived in town and our pastor was around and he saw me bringing a new kitten I picked from the street, I have been adopting abandon kittens for almost a year already.

The topic for this Sunday is about commitment to go, to give and pray.  Are we committed to go to church? Our Pastor set an example on how one person wanted to be visited at home and be invited before he can go to church. He said that we should’t not wait for us to be invited, we should go to church on our own because we are committed to go.  We are also should  be committed to return the blessings we received everyday so we are going to be bless even more, and be committed to pray because as God says “ask and it will be given to you”, “seek and you will find” and “knock and the door will be opened to you”. I felt blessed hearing those words from God and it add more hopes to my hopeless heart it feels like God is pushing me to keep going, I should continue asking and seeking Him because it will be given to me.

Commitment is a very strong word, being committed is being dedicated and loyal. If we are committed to someone we love we shouldn’t get tired and should not give up because that’s how commitment and love is.  We must have dedication, devotion, loyalty and faithfulness, we should be strong to overcome all the trials that comes along the way and just don’t give up easily, just how we are committed to love and serve the Lord.

The other day, I decided to tweak the theme of this blog. Making me busy is one way for me to stop thinking too much, because it is not getting healthy anymore. Nobody will help me but myself and if I keep feeding my depression I might end up being suicidal or crazy (almost). I decided to live the life day by day without looking forward on the future because if I do I am becoming depressed even more. I decided to wait and not to make thing fast because everything has a perfect timing according to my spirit animal.

I have noticed the old theme is somehow dull and lonely, no wonder my life turned upside down. I made the new theme vibrant and bold using the same vectors or images. I made the header a little smaller as well, so the readers will see more of the things I am posting rather than more of the image in my header. This blog was an expat blog but since I am already home I turned it as my personal space online and my diary, I also combined two more blogs in here when I decided not to renew them anymore, this blog was helpful because I have no one to talk too and nobody really can relate with my emotions. I really don’t talk much about my life to someone because it is not easy for me to trust and I am always scared being ridiculed.

With the new theme and the magical season coming, all I am hoping is for the best.  I hope the new theme will inspire me to write more, be optimistic and will help me to smile even in difficult times. In short, I hope it brings good luck to me!

Well, I made myself busy even more when I decided to create new theme. It was originally the theme for Odiongan Daily Travels but since I combined it over here I’d make use of it as well so if you click Travel and Places category you’ll see the yellow green theme above.

The other night I was feeling disturb again so I have asked my mother and sister if they want to eat “pancit”, they said yes so we drove to town so we could get one order of pancit. Along the way my sister exclaim that she seems saw a turtle in the road, I have told her to return so we could see it and she was right it was indeed an injured turtle maybe it was a victim of motorcycle hit and run. Since we are just about 600 meters away from home, we picked the turtle and bring it home first before heading to town again.  The turtle was injured, it has some scratches at the bottom. My father put in the large pail where I feed him, I am planning to release the turtle when it feels better.

Turtle is one of the spirit animal that comes out when I took random quiz online about finding my spirit animal. Since I have been finding myself these past few days, I am getting comfort from things that I think there is a relation/relevance to me, I put symbol and meaning to everything. I am not sure if I am going crazy or I am just so depressed that I am clasping to everything that comes along my way.

Looking online I have found at universeofsymbolism.com that the brilliant message from this little turtle totem is not to push myself  because I’ll end up making errors and miss opportunities. It was said that the turtle has the wisdom of knowing that all things come in perfect and divine timing, sharing the golden lesson of patience. I guessed the turtle that shows up along our way is an answered prayer telling me to slow down the pace of my life and being bigger, stronger, faster are not always the best ways to get what I want and control things in instant. It simply reminds me to take thing slowly and don’t rush things at the moment and I should learn the art of waiting…

According to spirit-animals.com too, if turtle is your totem you have exceptional navigation skills. You can always find your way through anything. You also have a tendency to withdraw into your shell if your find yourself in an uncomfortable or what you perceive as a threatening situation. Well, now I know why I can always find the way back when travelling and getting lost is not an option and why I am good in reasoning. Alternatively too, the turtle represents the need to be sheltered or protected from life’s problems which I am needing right now.

Here are some additional associations for turtle:

• Longevity
• Endurance
• Survival skills
• Patience
• Stimulates hearing on both the physical and spiritual levels
• Are you listening carefully to others?
• Let Turtle help you decide to take time to slow down or perhaps to pick up the pace a bit.

Owl is my primary spirit animal then bear and turtle but I guess seeing a turtle is easier than seeing an owl or bear around us. How about you what is your spirit animal?  You can take this quiz www.spiritanimal.info/spirit-animal-quiz to find to find it out.