More of my blogs will bid goodbye before the year ends. It’s sad not to renew them since they have page ranks but I have no choice I can’t pay the renewal fee anymore, it is getting expensive to renew the domains and blog opportunities are getting scarce these days. I have only earned about $20 for the month of November and it isn’t even enough for my internet load expenses, how much more domains renewals?

Upon updating the site metrics I have found that most blogs and websites went down, the domain authority dropped tremendously which is not a good sign for bloggers since it is a very important measurement in websites popularity after updates on page ranking was stopped by Google.

Well, I don’t know what I should do now since I can’t design blog themes anymore, the internet speed isn’t good enough to constantly reload a website while designing it, it requires a strong internet connection to upload images repetitively, and there isn’t an order for new theme designs anyway since earning through blogging is very slow making the bloggers can’t afford to buy personalized theme for their blogs.  It’s true that a lot of my blogger friends quit blogging and look for regular job; I guess I must do the same but with the number of unemployed graduates in our town my chance of finding a work without a connection is slim. I guess I should start accepting laundry task from neighbors or learn carpentry skills huh?

Maybe in a few months, or a year I’ll be gone in blogging world and the internet and I’ll be just at home looking at the ceiling and counting lizards. Even so, all I pray is to have food in our table enable us to survive living.

Just another weird wedding dream this time, and I wake up with a heavy heart. I don’t know how it started all I can recall I am planning my wedding and I am in contact with a gay classmate W1 which is a wedding planner in my dream and then another gay classmate W2 came in the picture which is also a wedding planner in my dream and on my dream I decided to take the service of the second wedding planner cancelling my previous business engagement on the first one. Little did I know, the two gay wedding planners are competing with each other so when I hired W2 dropping the service of W1, the latter wasn’t happy especially after receiving an conceited call from W2, and then I found myself talking over the phone with W1, apologizing for dropping his service and when the other line dropped the call after resenting me on how I ruined  their plans and business.  Then, I  found myself crying and whispering to myself that hiring a new wedding planner is just a charade because my groom which is J isn’t coming so there isn’t  a wedding to look for, I was so sad in my dream that’s why I woke up with a heavy heart like I just came from crying.

[Image source: theshopbug.files.wordpress.com]

Weird isn’t it? I looked online what’s my dream telling me and here’s what I have found but nobody knows what’s the real meaning of our dreams and nobody could really tell our future.

Planning and organizing matters or events in a dream means rising in status. Planning in a dream also means justification of one’s responsibilities or actions. –

• If you dream of remarrying your husband or wife symbolizes your strong love and faith to each other. Marriage has suited you well. Your marriage may be about to change as well. Are you considering starting a family? If you are dreaming of planning your wedding, but have never met your future spouse, it is an indication that you have found harmony and balance between your feminine and masculine sides.  Conversely, you may be struggling from a lack of balance between your more instinctive side and your softer emotional nature.
• To dream that you are getting married to your current spouse again represents your wedded bliss and happiness. It highlights your strong commitment to each other. It may also signify a new phase (such as parenthood, new home, etc) that you are entering in your life. – http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamthemes/wedding-dream-symbols.htm
• To dream of planning for a wedding represents preparations you are making for a permanent or serious change.To dream of problems or fighting at a wedding may reflect issues with commitment, confidence, or consistency. You may be having second thoughts about a change you were considering. Alternatively, it may reflect jealousy you or someone else has while watching others achieve something. Not liking seeing someone else permanently realize a goal. It may also point to feelings that seeing a permanent change occur is not a good idea. – http://www.dreambible.com/dreamdictionary/w.html
• May symbolize reviewing and questioning the status of your relationship. Consider how you feel – are you happy or unhappy about marrying your spouse in the dream? – https://www.dreamscloud.com/dream-dictionary/w/wedding

Just another weird dream last night, I have planned to blogged my dreams but there are times I forgot the details of them when I wake up. My dream started in a gathering which looks like a wedding; everyone is busy since it is going to start soon, people went out so the marching could start soon and then I saw an aunt in the flock of people marching out carrying her granddaughter, it was me who noticed that it seems baby K is peeing on her, so I called her attention and the toddler is really peeing which made us all laugh. Then while waiting for the wedding to start and for people to march in I heard drum beats and I found myself in the middle of the road carrying my DSLR and snapping pictures of the parade or festivities like the street dancing during town fiesta where dancers paint their selves and wore costumes, the wedding entourage and  dancers intertwined.  In my dream while I am taking photos I have noticed there is a second DSLR hanged in my body, it has bigger lenses, and it was J’s DSLR camera.

At first I was hesitant to use it because I know that when I touched it, I am going to be scolded. He doesn’t want his things to be touch without permission, but I have used anyway because he isn’t around and it feels like we are not together in my dream, there is a bitter feeling. I have enjoyed snapping pictures using his camera because I can use the view finder unlike mine that I can’t because it is broken; the snapping sound every time I clicked the shutter is music into my ears. Then it feels like the street was cleaned with people and I found the large group of different dancers, dancing and lifting their feet in joy and suddenly I woke up, hearing a distant sound of drums from the nearby church.

Such a weird dream, but with the recollection of things I have heard and read from before it looks like my dream means a bad omen, hopefully not, so I am praying nothing serious is going to happen to anyone I love, the people around me and people I know.

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When my sister took a government exam in the neighboring city almost a year ago, I went with them and we’ve went directly to Manila to wander around. I was too presumable then; I took government national papers, bought things and clothes to carry somewhere far but life isn’t always the way we planned it, so the lesson I learned in life not to get too excited and don’t expect too much it is either from yourself or from people around you.

When everything turned upside down, I hid all the things I collected I didn’t throw them like what I have said. Anyway, few of them were perfumes I just let them sit in one corner collecting dust, I already lost count how many of them I bought, I thought I bought more but when I checked them they’re just less than I thought they were be.

Recently my mother dig them out from the dark corner, the perfumes remained there untouched by me since the day I hid them in, gladly I didn’t bought things for J yet like I have planned or else there are more things that will collect dust. I choose to resell the Jordache perfumes and make money out them. I have bought them on huge sale in a Japanese store in Manila for less than $2 and reselling them for less than $6. The Jordache perfume scent I have bought were No. 4, 5 and 7, they were the only available scent because the perfumes were almost sold out when we stumble at them in the shopping mall.

Meanwhile, the clothes I have bought I wore them to church every Sunday, I think that’s where the clothes destined to be worn, the clothes that was for different weather was kept in the very bottom of a huge box and some of the new pants given to me by my mother goes to reselling items too since they were too large for me to wear, I’ve lost a lot of weight without struggling on how to do it, yes no dieting needed. If you will asked me, I believed all those weights were transferred to my sister since she gained a lot of weight today, LOL.

Restlessness is already part of me; there are times I want to take my head off so my mind will stop thinking. There is just one moment in time I want to burst in tears, and cried for no apparent reason, I just want time to stop or run quickly. I want to travel ahead of my life since there is no chances to return back the time, I can’t change things nor correct mistakes that has been made. Life is over for me, been there and done that!

Life is full of surprises; it isn’t simple like how some people presume it to be. There is no backspace and delete button, there is no auto correction and there is no pause button. Worst, there is no another chance to a few of us, just regrets, pain and memories to carry on our graveyard. We cannot undo things nor undo our mistakes, every cause has an effect which can not be undone.

Life isn’t always mean happiness, there are some people who are lucky and there are people who are unlucky. Life is ironic, life is unfair.  Life is full of rejection, it is full of up and downs. Life is strange!

It’s  a day full of blessings today, the sky is dark and heavy rain is dropping.  It is a blessings in the midst of drought,  the water supply these past few days became very scarce, the water stop at eight o’clock in the morning and was turn on again late in the afternoon for a few hours, which made the public furious with the people managing the water supply since they didn’t inform anybody about their decision of turning off the water.

A typhoon just passed by and didn’t made a land fall according to our father since he is the one who frequently watch news program in the television, he is at home since the weekend because their work was already finished last week making my mother irritated because it is Christmas time and our father doesn’t have  a job, which we told her to stop doing it because she is not attracting good vibes or luck. Just like the other night, we are about to have dinner and while I am carrying one glass in each hand to the table, one of the glasses suddenly slip and crashed to pieces in the floor I really don’t know how it happened, my mother was very furious at me, so I told her it was just a glass and we can buy a new one unlike if it is a life we can’t buy nor change it for a new one but she keeps mumbling about it which she doesn’t really do that much if plate or bowl was the one get broken, later I realized a glass crashed in pieces is a bad omen according to superstitious beliefs. 🙁

Well, since it is been raining since early morning today, we are left with nothing to do aside from minimal chores. There’s no signal in the television because of the rain, internet speed isn’t good too. The best thing to do right now is to drink coffee and sleep, I just had my cup of coffee awhile ago and hopefully to have another cup later.

Today, is the fourth Sunday of the month and the scriptural topic is living with a thankful attitude and grateful heart. It was said that Thanksgiving is an attitude we should have everyday, every hour, every minute and every seconds. Our Pastor told everyone to always wear a smile too, and give a smile to the people around us because with this little gesture we are able to help, touch someone’s life and lighten there burden.

According to what Paul has said to Timothy “People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy.” – 2 Timothy 3:2

On our generation today what has said was true, we can found it around us, we forgot to be thankful and being thankful is a personal decision, it is our self-desire. We should give thanks in everything, the hurts and the trials. God knows what’s on our heart and mind too, He notices when we are thankful and ungrateful. Always remember too God’s will is always expandable or elastic.

Yesterday, we went to town to see the parade for Children’s Day, it was held this month. We are not able to see anything because we went to town so late, when we arrived it is almost the end of it, they started the parade on time, not like what my mother thought that it is going to be in Filipino time.

We went inside the town plaza to look around and took some photos of some neighbors and relatives, they accompanied their kids in the event and I promised a neighbor who is our loyal customer that I will take photo of her daughter who’s the muse of their class, our older cousin’s son played as escort too so when their day care school was called I went in front of the stage with my sister and their parents to snap some pictures, while returning to the benches my sister called my attention, it turns our former Dean of Student Affairs who is also one of the Godparents in my wedding was along the long tables for guest and visitors of the said event, I immediately held his hand and put it in my forehead, it is called “Mano” gesture used in Filipino culture performed as a sign of respect to elders and as a way of accepting a blessing from the elder. I was asked afterwards if one of the kid I snapped a picture was mine, which I politely says no, same question asked to me when I am taking picture of my older cousin’s son at the benches when someone passed by behind me and asked me in English “Is that your child?” which I also replied no without looking who’s talking, when I asked my sister about it, she said she cannot remember the name of the woman but she is sure I know who it was.

Anyway, we didn’t take long in the event, we went to the terminal food court and ate a budget meal.

The other night we rush to Mercury Drug store in town to buy an ointment, the store will close at eight o’clock in the evening so we rush out before it closes. I was not feeling well due to colds. My back felt so cold and vulnerable, I think my immune system level went down after a few days of non-stop trip to town, doing some errands and attending some family matters.

Since we are acquainted with the cashier, she informed us about their sale and even bringing us to the aisle.  Pantene 3 Minute Miracle Conditioner (Total Damage Care 10) is on 50% sale, there are only four bottles of them so I took them all to the counter before someone could see them. The conditioner normally cost ₱157 per bottle but after the 50% off it only cost ₱78 per bottle, which is really a huge savings.  It is a way better than buying another conditioner on the same price, actually my mother wasn’t in favour of me buying the conditioners she blurted out what would I do with them when I still have two new conditioners at home.

Well, there is a huge savings on them that’s why I took them and I maybe could display them to the beauty products we’re selling at home while they are not going to be use yet, who knows someone will buy them and then I could get 50% profit from them, isn’t it?

Retail Price: ₱157.00/180 ml
Sale Price: ₱78.00/180 ml
Savings: ₱79.00/180 ml