My head is spinning, maybe because lack of sleep, fatigue and not eating on time.  Everyday the doctor handed a new prescription and everyday the prescription bill cost more than a thousand of pesos, my mother’s first laboratory test cost a lot as well and then there are other succeeding test that isn’t free at all. My mother was recovering, she is doing better than her first two days in the hospital that she looks like in a vegetative state. Every day something is improving, she’s able to move her paralyzed body but there isn’t a sensation yet. At first I have thought there was but I guess my mother is confused and high with different medicines injected to her, she became short tempered, emotionally down and stressed with anything, the house, the hospital bills and money no matter how we told her to relax.

On the first few days my mother doesn’t eat anything nor drink, the doctor says it was fine since there is nutrients coming from the drip in her hand. The laboratory tests shows she has high level of sugar, high uric acid and UTI problem that resulted her stroke attack and with this a lot of food was prohibited for her to eat, mainly the food she enjoy so much.

It was hard for us to see her in bed lying and can’t do anything that even a little move required an assistance, my mother was put in a cathether when she can’t pee in the adult diaper, she can pee in the toilet but the problem the public toilet is a little bit far from the room since the room we rented has no private toilet room. The doctor ordered that my mother needs a complete bed rest since when she insisted to go the public toilet of the hospital in a wheelchair she went very tired and exhausted. The doctor says going to the toilet won’t help her recover faster since it is draining her energy.

As day goes by, she is able to drink a little as 20 ml of water.  It was hard at first because she can’t drink or swallow well, we massage her paralyzed body the best we can. She complaint of pain which she can’t point where, it was also difficult for her to sleep especially the first day where she doesn’t want to sleep scared of not waking up anymore.

Medicines are expensive the good thing a few relatives and the church extended financial help to us, we are not expecting it but we are thankful because it helps a lot to us, my father wasn’t able to work and my sister too while my mother is confined in the hospital.

Hospital was our second home for a few days already, my father and I go home in the morning to collect water, do the laundry, cooked food and do other household chores and then we returned during lunch and went home again in the afternoon and went back to the hospital at late afternoon. It was been our routine for several days, it was hard to sleep during the night because we have to monitor my mother’s urine every hour, by draining her catheter and measuring it. I sleep a bit at night and do the task during early morning but I can’t sleep well at all because I was worrying with my mother’s condition.

Anyway, I am not planning to attend church service today but my sister texted that if I want to go to church I just have to make sure that everything is right at home, so I immediately searched for my jeans and went to church with a cloudy mind, lack of sleep and non-stop worrying.

[Image source: mbchiawassee.org]

This Sunday is my father’s birthday and it was exchanged pulpit Sunday which mean different Pastor will do the preaching, the preacher was a woman pastor (Pastor E.F) from sister church, her topic for the day was about “Service That Pleasing the Lord” based on scripture reading Matthew 25: 14-31.

What kind of service pleasing the Lord? According to Pastor E.F, productive service pleases the Lord, a service that is effective and fruitful, God gave us talents and ability for us  to flourish, He expected us to level up. Secondly, passionate service pleases the Lord, it is a service that is burning, committed, eager, excited, enthusiastic, hot and emotional in short it is a service that is from the heart. We should work with love to the Lord, our motivation should be love to glorify God. Thirdly, a faithful service pleases the Lord, it should be close, consistent, devoted, loyal and trustworthy. A faithful servant never retired, he served faithfully as long as he is alive. According to Pastor E.F a good servant acknowledge God as the owner and him as a steward and faithfulness is keeping promises.

It was normal Tuesday morning, I was starting my day surfing the internet looking for some opportunity to earn online when suddenly I head a loud bang in our bathroom, I already knew what happened so I stand immediately before I can hear my mother calling out my name. As expected I found her in the bathroom floor, I immediately took some ice pack to mend her head that was hurt since I was told she hit the wall and then the rest was quick like a lightning bolt after I asked someone who’s buying ice pack to call for help, people came in panic and carry my mother who is already tongue twisted. I don’t know if I should go with them in the hospital or just stay home, I consciously handed the motorcycle key to Pastor E and asked him to let my sister knew what happened to our mother but he waited for me while I am collecting things to bring in the hospital like blankets since pillows were already taken by my older cousin.

I’ve found my mother in an emergency room of a private hospital, she was rushed over there since it was the nearest hospital from our barangay, she is lying in the stretcher being check-up by nurses and a doctor. I was asked several questions like her medical history and etc., It was the first time my mother was brought in the hospital, she was never confined for any reason and never had health tests.  I was asked to sign a paper for admission after the nurses asked my age. I would like to wait for my father but I was told it was needed to be sign right away so my mother will be admitted in the hospital and will be given care.

My sister was already in the hospital since the water station where she is working was just nearby after a cousin in-law notify her, Pastor E and my sister went to my father’s workplace after calling his contractor where he is working that day. My father didn’t immediately went to the hospital I don’t know if it is because of shock because when he left the house my mother’s still doing fine.

My aunt’s and a cousin was in the hospital with us, the hospital asked what room we want to rent, I was given a choice an air conditioner room or a room with just a fan with other patients, I choose the latter since we can’t afford the higher room, well even their cheapest room cost a lot as well, I have heard later that there are also suite room upstairs. My mother was brought in the room, it was hot, no toilet room and very simple then I was given a prescription and the price is shocking for a penniless like me and then I was asked to buy adult diapers since my mother was like in a vegetative state and then another shocking prescription to buy at another pharmacy, good thing Pastor E drove me around.

Then the next day, we are asked if we want the hospital to refer an internal doctor. I have asked first how much does it cost , if it cost a lot we can’t afford it since we have no land to sell anymore and we have no health insurance. I didn’t get a direct reply but I have agreed for the referral since my mother’s health comes first.