A few more days before Christmas and I can already feel Christmas rush around me, the parents were already busy buying new clothes for their kids and gifts for their kids Christmas party. Nothing much, happening around me I am slowly eating by the dark hole again, I have a lot worries, questions and regrets. I am feeling alone…

Anyway,  I have already wrapped gifts for my Godchildren; it was a good thing I found gifts for less than $2 at LazadaPH and for the others I just wrapped some old but new clothes. I think for the first time I bought Christmas gift for my family, I bought a bottle of Kirkland Vitamin B for my mother as her Christmas gift, she’s been skipping taking Vitamin B because the brand she is taking is quite expensive per tablet in our local pharmacy and with my father’s weekly compensation we can’t afford it daily, I bought Kirkland label because I believed Vitamin B is Vitamin B no matter what brand it is.

[Photo courtesy of freestocks.org /pexels.com]

My sister wanted a head phone so when there was a Christmas sale I bought Techno Tamashi TH-780 Over-the-Ear Headphones (Blue) for her and inexpensive red wine for my father, there are gifts for J too if only…

The good thing of shopping online when you have no card you can pay via Cash on Delivery which is good deal for me. What I am saving right now is money to send this Christmas for my maternal grandmother, she lives on her hometown together with my biological grandfather and doesn’t want to live with us because she isn’t familiar with the people and the place.

With the year ending, I hope 2017 will be a good year for me. I hope do miracles happens and I hope it will open more opportunities and work online so I can live life day by day and buy my necessities. Oh well, how can I find work online with my slow internet connection? ☹

Today is my grandfather’s death anniversary and I think it was Cody too! ☹🕯

I was depressed, mourning these past few days for the passing of my nephew in-law. Gladly I have friends that cheered and comfort me up. Like what my old classmate says we can’t do anything because we are all going to die. It only happens Cody’s time came first, someone says I should stop acting strange and don’t get so affected because I never met him. I just can’t stop it, he was a family. Thinking how sad and depressed her immediate love ones made me down as well. I am not just too vocal with my feelings I don’t say what I felt I wrote it.

One night I asked God for a sign if my nephew in-law is already on his hands. He gave the sign right away and I found solace and reason to let go. Words are not enough how I felt sorry for his family’s loss.

Happy Journey to you Cody! May the love of  God and everyone who loves you will guide you on your journey, and may the love of God will comfort your family through this difficult times! #praying