There has just been so much stress for me these past few weeks, it was all maybe collected from different reasons, stress from work, at home from people, etc., It was tiring already dealing with immaturity from my other workmates who didn’t know how to stop throwing jokes, it was toxic and it made me sick. My body couldn’t handle the stress and anxiety, I remember experiencing the same thing a few years back when I quit my job.

When I went to the center for a check-up a few weeks ago, I was told to visit a specialist and have some tests. I didn’t follow the referral due to different factors and being afraid to do it, haha. It stopped, but when it became toxic again at work, I was not drinking enough water, I seldom used the toilet, been drinking colas, it all started again it felt like my body was deteriorating.

[Photo courtesy of Pedro Figueras/pexels.com]

I went to an herb doctor the other day after much deliberation on what to do, where I was told I got bewitched by an unseen being, was told it was a kind one, but I was asked to offer a white male chicken which is hard to find, no wonder I have been looking to my cousin’s white chicken (not pure) a few days ago before visiting a herb doctor, as if my instinct already know what do I need, lol.

At home, I decided to do herbal treatment, I looked for grass, boiled it, and made some tea out of it. I also bought vitamins to boost my immune system, slowly I am feeling better, but I was feeling weak and my emotions were low, wasn’t feeling happy anymore, and I was losing my vibe and myself. I am becoming aloof, distant, unobservant, and cold. The truth is, I decided to establish my boundaries and never care at all about what they said, I tried not to react as possible, I held my emotions and was just thankful to have a good support system, I have this one friend who understands my ordeal and who always advise me what to do.

Anyway, I don’t wanna dwell with me being sick, because I believe we have our own timeline, if we will die, we will die, no excuses.

If not for my sister blurting out that it will be my birthday soon, I will not be reminded of it.  Yes, it will be my birthday in a few days, my family is excited about the thought of eating a chocolate cake and eating out on my birthday. The thing is my sister and mother planned to buy a chocolate cake, they both agreed that they will split the cost of the cake but I right now I don’t think there will be a cake on my birthday, my father didn’t work for a week because he is sick.

They’re in town right now for his check-up, hopefully they are able to scheduled a time for the doctor after getting a diagnosis in a diagnostic center. The doctor told him to return to her clinic after two months but it didn’t happen, he got many complications to the medicine prescribed by the doctor, so he stop taking the medicine and then we decided to changed it to branded medicine, it works well the side effects were gone but he didn’t finish taking the complete medicine, he either forgot to take every morning or I guess he just didn’t want to, because every time my father take the medicine he will asked how much does it cost,  knowing that the medicine is expensive he didn’t take the remaining medicines since he knew when he is done with it we have to buy another set of it until he finishes 60 tablets.

[Photo courtesy of Pixabay/pexels.com]

Well, I didn’t force him to finish taking the medicines I just watch out his diet, I also didn’t insist of bringing him to the doctor for his scheduled check-up but things things became more complicated after he works under the rain, he needs to see a doctor today which means expenses.

The thought of cake and eating a simple meal on my birthday is gone, I have so many bills to pay. I set-up a small business at home but it didn’t work smoothly, my resellers have many past due accounts that I have to pay in town. I have loans left and right so I could pay them because there is no one I could ask for help, my work online wasn’t that great as before because my internet connection is limited and not much opportunities anymore. I have become sickly too these past few months, had a minor electrical accident and so on.

There are times when I am alone, I just cry silently and not letting my family see my tears, I smiled and laughed in front of them, cracked jokes like crazy but little did they know…

Oh yes, just few weeks ago I have this itchy cough, then followed by injury on my gums and pain on my throat and now what? I am sick again, I have colds! Huhuhu!

[Photo courtesy of StockSnap/pixabay.com]

Pookie bear came home with colds and of course I have to have his colds in order he will be okay, like as usual while he is laughing because he feels good I am like a chicken here with colds. Dunno why I always got sick when he got one but I can’t transfer back to him.  Unfair isn’t it?